There is the
need to critically review the basic reasons why most relationships in
the society fail; marriages are being broken day by day with people
moving on with their lives and not being bothered.
The first thing to note here is the mindset and calibre of the people
who get into this holy matrimony. Most of them are always in a hurry to
say the vows and move to the matrimonial bed.
There is more to marriage than the sharing of bed and material things.
Matters that would test the faith and love of couples would always arise
with only the brave surviving the storm.
This would then lead us to the point where we get to ask why people go
into marriages in the first place. Some people venture into marriage
because they base their think it is the right to do since the people
around think so. Who are they to help you make such an important
decision when they would not live in that union with you?
Then what kind of attitude do you have? This is a very important thing
to note as you would be cohabiting with someone who has a different
background. This means that you are bound to see things you do not like
and you have to learn to handle these things with maturity.
All these form a minute part of the reasons we would be discussing here
as we are tired of seeing broken homes and traumatised children. Find
below the core reasons why many marriages in the society fail:
1. No set boundaries
Couples do not know how to manage their emotions and have healthy
relationships with people outside their homes. There are many people in
the society who make friends easily without knowing how to place these
new friends.
They make them feel so important that their partners start to wonder the kind of relationship that exist between them.
As soon as you are married, there should be a limit to the things you do
with your friends or the kind of conversation you have with them. They
create a feeling of insecurity in their partners as a result of their
closeness with those people.
2. Selfishness
Many people do not see this as a serious issue as they think selfishness
is a problem that could be worked on. There is the need to be
considerate when sharing duties and responsibilities; people who place
their desires over that of their partners have issues at the long run.
The neglected partners could feel used or taken advantage of. This act
often degenerates to serious issues like manipulation, jealousy,
obsession and a zeal for control. Selfishness could also transcend to
disrespect.
3. Harsh words
It is normal for couples to have fights and arguments but it is not
alright for couples to use harsh words on each other no matter how
provoked they are.
Lots of marriages have failed because many people could not get over the
hurtful things their partners said to them while they had issues.
These words can never be taken back and it would be difficult to pretend
as if those things did not happen. Explosive outbursts would break your
relationships as unbridled and unchecked temper could turn you to
enemies even after the separation.
4. Lack of intimacy
Many marriages have failed and broken as a result of lack of emotional
intimacy. Most people lose touch with their partners as soon as they
start having kids.
Women become old all of a sudden and are unwilling to try out new
methods of lovemaking. Men get tired of the incessant complaints they
give when it is time to have a good time with them. Emotional intimacy
goes beyond lovemaking as many couples have lots of expectations when it
comes to marriage.
People want comfort and support in a union like that and when they do
not get it, they do not feel the need to stay in such relationships
again.
5. Living separate lives
Many couples drift apart because they live separate lives. It is
impertinent for a relationship like that to fail because couples do not
make out time for each other. Couples should share activities that would
bring them together always.
Couples who live separately and do things independently tend to lose the
spark over time. They stop connecting with their partners and find
solace in other people. Marriages fail because couples do not share
happy moments that involve their children.
There is the need to consult with each other about children’s growth,
welfare, and family vacations. As busy as people tend to get with kids,
these activities would keep them together.
6. Lack of communication
Another major reason why marriages fail is a lack of communication.
Individuals who are uptight, rigid, judgmental and easily swayed by
anger could shut down on their partners when they have issues.
This is their supposed way of preventing harsh words. A successful
relationship needs constant ironing and mending; no one is perfect.
Not talking about the problems would cause bigger issues as couples
would become estranged over time. At the long run, the concerned partner
may recoil into a shell and give up on the relationship.
7. Bad habits
There are certain habits and addictions that could ruin your marriage
and change your lives forever. Disloyalty, lies, covetousness,
dishonesty and emotional imbalance are things that would mess up a
healthy relationship as it would bring up issues that would degenerate
to trust issues.
It is exhilarating for an individual to complain about issues like these
with the other person not changing or bothered. Sooner or later, they
would break up and go their separate ways